An interesting convergence of ideas happened to me today. I took a phone call from a lawyer who wanted to talk to me about my letter responding to his client's demand letter to my client (got all that?). It was a very cordial conversation, a fact I appreciated immensely. In today's world lawyers tend to do too much yelling. My letter had been firm -- polite, but firm -- in stating my client's position. I told him I would convey his client's request to my client and get back with him later in the week.
Not long afterward I saw a message from someone on Facebook whose teachings frequently provide me with juicy morsels to meditate on later in the day. Today was no exception. She was talking about fear and fearlessness, and how fear can cause problems in our daily lives. One of the ways fear manifests in our lives is through aggression -- or anger. An effective way to counteract the aggression or anger is through gentleness. Where we start is within ourselves. When we are treating ourselves with more gentleness (and forgiveness) then the anger melts away, and when we are less angry with ourselves, we are less likely to be angry with those around us.
The most extraordinary part of the day came a couple of hours later. I'd had another phone call in the morning (won't go into details), but the upshot has to do with legal papers and the same client I was representing in my telephone conversation with Mr. Lawyer (above). When I finally got to see the legal papers and did what was necessary to deal with the issue for my corporate client, to my absolute shock and amazement -- I mean we're talking knock me over with a feather here -- I discovered that one of the parties identified in the legal papers was someone I had dated in high school. I can't go into details for privacy reasons (the other people's, not mine), but I will only say that it seems there is a lot of fear and anger that has occurred within people's lives. My hope, therefore, is that whatever gentleness I can impart into the world that will start the chain reaction can keep it going.
I heard recently that each of us has an effect on at least three people each day. The implication of our chain reaction is pretty staggering. That's 3x3x3x3, etc. because we all come into contact with so many people each and every single day -- well, at least I do anyway. (Except those days I pretend I'm a hermit stuck in a cave somewhere. Actually I kind of like those days, but that's another story.)
If I choose to have a gentle positive outlook with myself, and I am more likely to have a gentle positive interaction with people, then those three people I will have the effect on will be more likely to have been positively influenced rather than negatively. And each of those people will be influencing three more people who will be more likely to be gentle and positive -- and all of those people fan out -- and pretty soon, we have a whole army of people that are dedicated to love, kindness and compassion. That's how we start changing the world.
So my Gratitude today goes to Mr. Lawyer (whose name I will keep to myself), but I appreciate him greatly, even though he is my opposing counsel.
My Gratitude goes to Pema Chodron for her lesson on gentleness. And I will remember that I still have so very much to learn in this regard, as in so many other ways.
My Gratitude goes to my friends and family who help me remember that I come from a place where we are all real, and we are all connected. Blessings on all of you.
Now I choose to go gently into that Good World.
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