I Have No Clue

Today was one of those days where I went through the motions.  I got up late.  I felt okay.  I got to work.  I was totally focused.  Everything took way too long to do.    But what I have to do sometimes can be very detailed and it takes tremendous focus to get it correct.  There are a lot of little things that, if I get them wrong, there is no one else to blame, and a lot of people are very upset.  There can be very serious legal repurcussions if I mess something up.  So I spent a lot of time this morning on some interwoven matters that had a lot of dates, numbers and names that could have started looking all alike, just to make sure it was all correct.  You should have seen all the paper for the shredding bin from the drafts that had to be corrected.  I was so close to being finished with that humongous, very important project ...

Then I got distracted by a haymaker.  (Go look it up if that term is unfamiliar.)  Actually, distracted is not the right word -- it's too mild.  I tried to get my focus back, but I never really did.  I continued on with the rest of the day and my work.  Clients pay for my time; they want my full attention, not my half-way legal thoughts.  Thank goodness none of the requirements for the rest of the day demanded any heavy lifting, though.
 
So I put on some Bob Dylan music -- "Together Through Life", and Bruce Springsteen, "The Rising."  I held the meetings I needed to, listened and offered the assessments and advice where appropriate.

Then I went home, saw my beautiful grandchildren, and my fabulous spouse -- who happened to be fixing grilled cheese sandwiches for the kids.  I put on my Drew Brees jersey to prepare for the Saints game and had a glass of wine, turned on ESPN and watched the pre-game show.

Now I am reflecting.  I still have no clue why I got punched -- other than the fact that I exist.  But that is reason enough I guess.  I've decided that is just part of life.  On some days we get punched in the gut, and our test is how we will react.  I'm incredibly sad that someone thinks I've not shown sufficient love and support to suit them (apparently -- for that is all I can glean from the aftermath).

Okay.  I'll take that.  And try to learn from it.    I don't know what it means to meet someone else's definition, only my own.  I can only try to show love as I know it to be and support as I know how to express it. 

Tomorrow will bring a new day.  I will love as many people as will let me.  Some just don't let me in though.  I'm not going to stop loving and one day, who knows?

Gratitude List:
Miss Debbie -- I'm so very glad you're back.
Three nights in a row sleeping with my favorite person
Tessie Woo
Leftovers made wow
2 glasses of wine while watching football
Comfortable PJs
Bananas that taste really good