I found the perfect remedy yesterday for anyone who needs to be lifted up. Wear a bright blue shirt and a smile. The trick is, however, you have to be the first one to smile at people. And you have to mean it. It can't be one of those fakey smiles -- the kind you see at the new car dealership, "Oh, we're so glad to see you again, Mrs. X." -- or especially at the grocery stores, "Thank you for shopping with us today." (They really mean, "We like your money.")
No, you have to smile with your eyes, not just your mouth. The smile from your eyes is actually coming straight from your heart. A smile from your heart really means you are transmitting love to the person, but not in those exact words. If you go through the day radiating love to the people around you, a truly amazing thing happens. It just bounces right back! The people usually sense the love (even though they may not call it that exactly) and return it in the form of a smile.
Sometimes it's a very powerful thing. Some people are very attuned to it and immediately give back. I had one of those "whoa" moments yesterday. I had just finished at the doctor's office and was on my way back to the parking garage. I walked past a lady with two young children sitting on a bench beside the elevator. I smiled at her and she said something about my blue shirt. I said something about her two beautiful children. She then told me they were twins, and she had another set of twins who were upstairs with their grandmother. She has a total of eight children, has had five C-sections. She's 44 and the doctor has told her she can't have any more children, "because her tissue is too weak." I asked her how she's doing with all of it. She said, "I'm fine, praise Jesus." I responded, "Yes, you certainly are." And as I was walking away she told me, "God bless you, Sister."
That totally made my day.
I still had to go back to work and face the mountain of phone messages, email and projects waiting for me. But it helped me put things in perspective. I don't have to solve all of the problems. And I certainly don't have to do it alone. Sometimes all it takes is a smile.
So, to everyone out there, God Bless you, Sister. Or Brother.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Ode to Wallace
My dad died in 1988. He was just shy of his 63rd birthday. I don't know why exactly, but for some reason I have been missing him a lot lately. My mind has strayed a bit wondering what he would think of our world right now, how he would have changed over the years in reaction to the developments in society, and if his views would have changed anything for me differently in the 20-some years had he been physically present.
My dad did not have a lot of formal education. His "book learning" came mostly from reading that he did on his own, but he was a voracious reader. From the earliest I can remember he subscribed to Time magazine and read the entire issue almost as soon as it arrived each week. The same held true for the newspapers, both our local newspaper and the nearest big city newspaper. He also watched the evening news on CBS with Walter Cronkite or Dan Rather and then the local news, so he was well-informed on all of the issues of the day.
So I think he would have welcomed the internet with all of its portals to the Information Age. He loved gadgets and subscribed to Popular Mechanics, so I have no doubt he would have wanted a personal computer and an iPhone -- and even a Kindle. I can only imagine how many books he would have kept and read on his Kindle. As it was he went to the used books store and bought sackfuls of paperbacks. The ebook reader would have been ever so much more convenient!
He loved having a calculator and was very good at math. Conversely, his handwriting was terrible. He always called it "chicken scratch." Thus, I know positively he would have enjoyed having a computer keyboard to use for email. If he could also use it to keep up with his kids, grandkids, brothers, and locate old friends, he would have relished the opportunity. And once he found out he could play chess by himself, that would have just pushed him right over the top! All of the other programs, games -- and now apps -- would have thrilled him.
On the other hand, he would shake his head in disbelief and sadness at our political situation. He would wonder why we haven't learned from the past and are not capable of compromise. He was definitely old-school about a lot of things. He admired Dwight D. Eisenhower and believed in personal responsibility and doing the right thing. But he also believed in not making a fuss, and doing things quietly. If everything was fine you wouldn't hear anything about it. It was only when things were a problem that he let you know maybe you needed to change direction. (You knew the meal was good because he ate it. If it was not, he might tell you so. Assume everything is good and keep going.)
When I was getting close to graduating from law school, he asked me to make him one promise. He asked me to never go into politics. He told me it is a dirty business. I made him that promise, and I have kept it. He was absolutely right. And I do not want to go into politics. I have been asked by a lot of people, but I have told them I made a promise. However, I have worked in campaigns and seen what goes on behind the scenes in politics. I do take a keen interest in having good people in government -- which I believe is completely different from going into politics myself.
What we never talked about though, was the McCarthy era, and how it may have shaped his views on politics. Daddy would have been in his prime during that dark period of our country, and I'm certain his thoughts would have been insightful. I do know, though, that he was a strong believer in cycles. And I think he would have thought of what is going on now as a cycle -- a bad one, but a cycle nonetheless. We had to be prepared to weather it and work together to get through it.
I don't know how I would be different if he had stayed around physically. I know I am influenced by the fact he is not available to talk to or visit. His absence left a gaping hole in my life that is responsible, at least partially, for forcing me to grow up. I couldn't call him to ask what kind of car he thought I should buy this time, or what that knocking sound might be coming from. (Luckily my husband can help a lot in that department now.) Does that mean I never would have grown up or become as responsible or opinionated had he not died?
Well, not everyone thinks I'm opinionated. Mostly those are people that haven't met me though. But what my father taught me was to listen to other people's opinions, and even more importantly, to respect those opinions. That is what is missing in today's world.
My dad did not have a lot of formal education. His "book learning" came mostly from reading that he did on his own, but he was a voracious reader. From the earliest I can remember he subscribed to Time magazine and read the entire issue almost as soon as it arrived each week. The same held true for the newspapers, both our local newspaper and the nearest big city newspaper. He also watched the evening news on CBS with Walter Cronkite or Dan Rather and then the local news, so he was well-informed on all of the issues of the day.
So I think he would have welcomed the internet with all of its portals to the Information Age. He loved gadgets and subscribed to Popular Mechanics, so I have no doubt he would have wanted a personal computer and an iPhone -- and even a Kindle. I can only imagine how many books he would have kept and read on his Kindle. As it was he went to the used books store and bought sackfuls of paperbacks. The ebook reader would have been ever so much more convenient!
He loved having a calculator and was very good at math. Conversely, his handwriting was terrible. He always called it "chicken scratch." Thus, I know positively he would have enjoyed having a computer keyboard to use for email. If he could also use it to keep up with his kids, grandkids, brothers, and locate old friends, he would have relished the opportunity. And once he found out he could play chess by himself, that would have just pushed him right over the top! All of the other programs, games -- and now apps -- would have thrilled him.
On the other hand, he would shake his head in disbelief and sadness at our political situation. He would wonder why we haven't learned from the past and are not capable of compromise. He was definitely old-school about a lot of things. He admired Dwight D. Eisenhower and believed in personal responsibility and doing the right thing. But he also believed in not making a fuss, and doing things quietly. If everything was fine you wouldn't hear anything about it. It was only when things were a problem that he let you know maybe you needed to change direction. (You knew the meal was good because he ate it. If it was not, he might tell you so. Assume everything is good and keep going.)
When I was getting close to graduating from law school, he asked me to make him one promise. He asked me to never go into politics. He told me it is a dirty business. I made him that promise, and I have kept it. He was absolutely right. And I do not want to go into politics. I have been asked by a lot of people, but I have told them I made a promise. However, I have worked in campaigns and seen what goes on behind the scenes in politics. I do take a keen interest in having good people in government -- which I believe is completely different from going into politics myself.
What we never talked about though, was the McCarthy era, and how it may have shaped his views on politics. Daddy would have been in his prime during that dark period of our country, and I'm certain his thoughts would have been insightful. I do know, though, that he was a strong believer in cycles. And I think he would have thought of what is going on now as a cycle -- a bad one, but a cycle nonetheless. We had to be prepared to weather it and work together to get through it.
I don't know how I would be different if he had stayed around physically. I know I am influenced by the fact he is not available to talk to or visit. His absence left a gaping hole in my life that is responsible, at least partially, for forcing me to grow up. I couldn't call him to ask what kind of car he thought I should buy this time, or what that knocking sound might be coming from. (Luckily my husband can help a lot in that department now.) Does that mean I never would have grown up or become as responsible or opinionated had he not died?
Well, not everyone thinks I'm opinionated. Mostly those are people that haven't met me though. But what my father taught me was to listen to other people's opinions, and even more importantly, to respect those opinions. That is what is missing in today's world.
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