My dad died in 1988. He was just shy of his 63rd birthday. I don't know why exactly, but for some reason I have been missing him a lot lately. My mind has strayed a bit wondering what he would think of our world right now, how he would have changed over the years in reaction to the developments in society, and if his views would have changed anything for me differently in the 20-some years had he been physically present.
My dad did not have a lot of formal education. His "book learning" came mostly from reading that he did on his own, but he was a voracious reader. From the earliest I can remember he subscribed to Time magazine and read the entire issue almost as soon as it arrived each week. The same held true for the newspapers, both our local newspaper and the nearest big city newspaper. He also watched the evening news on CBS with Walter Cronkite or Dan Rather and then the local news, so he was well-informed on all of the issues of the day.
So I think he would have welcomed the internet with all of its portals to the Information Age. He loved gadgets and subscribed to Popular Mechanics, so I have no doubt he would have wanted a personal computer and an iPhone -- and even a Kindle. I can only imagine how many books he would have kept and read on his Kindle. As it was he went to the used books store and bought sackfuls of paperbacks. The ebook reader would have been ever so much more convenient!
He loved having a calculator and was very good at math. Conversely, his handwriting was terrible. He always called it "chicken scratch." Thus, I know positively he would have enjoyed having a computer keyboard to use for email. If he could also use it to keep up with his kids, grandkids, brothers, and locate old friends, he would have relished the opportunity. And once he found out he could play chess by himself, that would have just pushed him right over the top! All of the other programs, games -- and now apps -- would have thrilled him.
On the other hand, he would shake his head in disbelief and sadness at our political situation. He would wonder why we haven't learned from the past and are not capable of compromise. He was definitely old-school about a lot of things. He admired Dwight D. Eisenhower and believed in personal responsibility and doing the right thing. But he also believed in not making a fuss, and doing things quietly. If everything was fine you wouldn't hear anything about it. It was only when things were a problem that he let you know maybe you needed to change direction. (You knew the meal was good because he ate it. If it was not, he might tell you so. Assume everything is good and keep going.)
When I was getting close to graduating from law school, he asked me to make him one promise. He asked me to never go into politics. He told me it is a dirty business. I made him that promise, and I have kept it. He was absolutely right. And I do not want to go into politics. I have been asked by a lot of people, but I have told them I made a promise. However, I have worked in campaigns and seen what goes on behind the scenes in politics. I do take a keen interest in having good people in government -- which I believe is completely different from going into politics myself.
What we never talked about though, was the McCarthy era, and how it may have shaped his views on politics. Daddy would have been in his prime during that dark period of our country, and I'm certain his thoughts would have been insightful. I do know, though, that he was a strong believer in cycles. And I think he would have thought of what is going on now as a cycle -- a bad one, but a cycle nonetheless. We had to be prepared to weather it and work together to get through it.
I don't know how I would be different if he had stayed around physically. I know I am influenced by the fact he is not available to talk to or visit. His absence left a gaping hole in my life that is responsible, at least partially, for forcing me to grow up. I couldn't call him to ask what kind of car he thought I should buy this time, or what that knocking sound might be coming from. (Luckily my husband can help a lot in that department now.) Does that mean I never would have grown up or become as responsible or opinionated had he not died?
Well, not everyone thinks I'm opinionated. Mostly those are people that haven't met me though. But what my father taught me was to listen to other people's opinions, and even more importantly, to respect those opinions. That is what is missing in today's world.
No comments:
Post a Comment