September used to be one of my favorite months. When I was growing up it meant going back to school, seeing all my friends for the first time since saying good-bye in May. September is the birth month of several important friends. Football kicks off in September -- now that's a really big deal.
But for everyone alive on the face of the earth in 2001, September forever changed. Just as those of the generation who remember exactly what they were doing on November 22, 1963, when they heard JFK had been assassinated, many millions more have an indelible pain etched on their hearts from September 11, 2001. Of course I have my own recollection of September 11 conducting an arbitration hearing, stumbling through the day, gathering around whatever TV set we could find, listening on the radio for news updates, and wondering if there would be more attacks. There was the strange silence overhead, no planes in the air for the first time in my life. And then dealing with all the issues that followed, business, personal, and otherwise.
September changed for me not only because of 2001. I lost someone very close to me in September, albeit not 2001. That was a death that took me many years to get over. For a very long time, years in fact, I could not put the two words "he" and "died" in the same sentence. Now I can almost say his name in a sentence with the word "died." And damn it, it didn't help anything when he died the day after his birthday. (See, I used the two words in the same sentence. Writing is one thing; saying it aloud is quite another.) Okay, so I'm still not completely over his departure. I'm not the only one who has struggled with that grief. I think we have all come to terms with it in our own ways. We still miss him. At least now we can laugh and tell the funny stories and say, remember when ....
September brings tears to my eyes for another, even more powerful reason that I will not write about directly. I will only say that something once happened in September that caused me to understand the power of forgiveness. No one can truly appreciate the depths of love and the bond of a relationship until they have experienced true forgiveness. For I once inflicted a grievous wound on someone I love, and I was forgiven. That was in September. I will forever be amazed and forever trying to prove myself worthy.
What I have learned is that forgiveness is a tremendously powerful idea. It is extraordinarily hard to give. But what it does for the person who receives it is liberating, if the person understands the gift. The idea of forgiveness is particularly important today, the tenth anniversary of 9/11. So many still have hate in their hearts for the perpetrators, their ethnic group, or whatever else. Hate is self-destructive and serves no worthwhile purpose that I have found. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the path to life. It is the path that Jesus taught.
So my September tears are mixed. They are reminders of good things, too. Powerful, loving, joyful tears. I have a lot of love in my life. It is multiplied when I give it to others around me. If I can bestow the gift of forgiveness -- along with the gift of love -- the joy multiplies exponentially. What a great life!
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