How Long?

"Boy, you're gonna carry that weight a long time, carry that weight a long time." 

There are many simple pleasures in life. Eating, sleeping, breathing. Sometimes those simple pleasures desert us. Or maybe, we lose the ability to focus on simple pleasures. Recently I had a nasty case of bronchitis. Simply breathing became impossible. I could not talk or eat anything more than soup. Brushing my teeth was an ordeal because the toothpaste triggered the coughing spasm. I broke down and visited the doctor.

Once I finally got well, I chuckled at the deep truth expressed during one of my meditation sessions. Focusing on inhaling and exhaling, I realized what great pleasure I derived from just breathing. No struggle, just breathe. Enjoying the simple pleasure of breathing. There will come a time when the breath will be gone.

One of my close friends drew his last breath not long ago. His funeral was Saturday. My friend devoted his life to making this world a better place. And he understood better than most the importance of living every day to its fullest. He also understood the power of forgiveness.

If you have ever hurt someone or betrayed them -- so deeply that you did not deserve to be forgiven, and yet that someone forgave you anyway -- you understand the importance of forgiveness. We are all wounded creatures. And we wound people around us, frequently those closest to us.

Why, then, do we hold grudges? Nursing the grudge takes us back to the moment we were hurt and we relive that moment. The longer we hold it, the more deeply rooted it becomes, and the more difficult to extricate. Yet people hold grudges for decades, bitterness and anger harbored and re-visited regularly. We even hold grudges against people who did not hurt us directly, but injured someone that we loved, and we took it as an injury to ourselves. Took it, nursed it to its full-throated, monstrous dragon-like nature that turned both inward and outward.

Unchecked, that anger, hurt, sadness, bitterness, vexation can only destroy. As it grows it takes over one's personality and kills. It kills relationships with people who love us and care deeply. It kills growth, happiness, contentment, and eventually, our ability to see anything good. This breaks my heart, for I see it all too often.

But who among us has not been hurt deeply at some point or other? If you've lived longer than a day or two, chances are someone has lied to you, cheated you, stolen from you, gossiped about you, betrayed you, accused you unjustly, taken advantage of you, cursed you, spat upon you, or worse. Only two choices exist:  forgiveness or animosity.

When we choose forgiveness, love wins.  When we choose spite, we lose. We lose every moment squandered while the event is replayed in our mind, with the accompanying emotions and feelings becoming more vivid. How can that ever be a good thing?

Instead, why not bestow the gift of love, the give of forgiveness, undeserved by the recipient, but so richly rewarding to all? I understand it is not easy. But it is invaluable.

How long are you gonna carry that weight?


And ... in the end ... the love you take ... is equal to ... the love you make.